Thursday, January 05, 2006

There's oversharing, and then there's...this

I have been so remiss in my posting, neglecting any sort of holiday letter or 2005 recap for y'all. But that's okay, because possibly the most astonishing Holiday Letter EVER was forwarded to me this year. I won't tell by whom; I don't want to incriminate anyone. Suffice to say, the sender is elderly but...vigorous. He sent a single-spaced, legal-size, double-sided letter to a vast cavalcade of friends and family, and buried in its exhaustive recounting was this paragraph:

On Tuesday of Holy Week, March 22, my urination began to turn off. The urologist found no reason for the symptom. In the early morning of Easter Monday at the hospital ER the doctor diagnosed me as having a case of shingles in the genital and anus area of my body, which turned out to be the cause of my urine failure. I had a bag and went through self urination for about 10 weeks before I gained full relief. It was a debilitating and frustrating time. But I recovered without long term problems. Thanks be to God!

May we all have a joyful and prosperous 2006, free of troubles up to and including ass shingles, my friends. Praises Be!

Also, somebody needs a blog, methinks.

3 comments:

Book Wyrm said...

That holiday letter almost makes me glad I only get the one from the rich bitch with the perfect kids.

Brooke said...

Praises be! Holy shit.

Anonymous said...

Parlicularly liked the way he cited dates: Not "in March" nor "in late March", not even "on 22 March", but "on Tuesday of Holy Week" and "on Easter Monday". We've all heard of stigmata, but...