Or as I like to call it, "Monday"

Woo woo, represent: September 16-22 is "Unmarried and Single Americans Week." According to the Seattle Times, "This week provides an opportunity for the unmarried to celebrate their spouse-free lifestyles and denounce the stigmas surrounding single people." I don't know how well I've done my part, considering: after a brief stop at the natural pet-foods store for kitty litter, I came home, put on my red sweatpants that make me look like Santa, and took the finishing swipes out of a pint of Half-Baked, while planted in front of Fox's season premiere night. Seriously, why haven't I been snapped up? Line forms to the left, gentlemen!